Found Dreaming

I said to my new girlfriend, "Now remember , my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."
I then rang my perfectly capable mother and explained,"by the way mum my girlfriend is slightly retarded."
What a fun dinner that was........

Hehehehehe.... I have a few, but not sure if they are quite appropriate for the forum...

My girlfriend laughed at me when I slip on a banana skin, said Laurie thats a bit cruel said his mate, In my defence, I didn't have any condoms with me